Still days to go before I have the hospital tests. The palpitations are impossible to ignore. Over the weekend, I rest quite a bit, and I'm surprised how good it feels simply to give in and relax.
I visit my mother and tell her the news about my heart operation. I try to play down the issue and make it sound like a routine procedure. The main point is that I will be out of action for a while and won't be able to do the things I normally do for her. But she is not silly; she knows it's serious.
On the way home, I notice a big CD sale and go in and buy a few discs. I'll have plenty of time to listen to new music.
On the Saturday night we go to a party. After standing up for two hours I've had enough. I can feel my heart labouring. I give my husband a shove and we make our excuses to leave.
I'm allowed to do my yoga, so I go to my regular Sunday class and take the easier options, avoiding any exercises that are likely to raise my heart rate. I enjoy moving to the music, the stretching and flexibility exercises and the guided meditation at the end.
In the afternoon, I go to a musical event called "Floating Melodies" on an iconic little river boat called Popeye. I invite my friend Deb. In the past year she has had surgery to remove a brain tumour. I watched Deb remain positive, brave and strong throughout her ordeal. I tell her about my heart problem. It's very helpful to talk with someone else who has faced a life-threatening condition. We have a philosophical discussion about how good it is to be alive.
This show is organized by pianist Emma, and some other friends are there, too. It's relaxing and enjoyable to be serenaded while we cruise up and down the river, enjoying a glass of wine and a cheese platter.

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