I'm tired of waiting for this operation. I just want it to be done and to get on with the process of recuperating, so I can do all the things I want to do with the rest of my life.
But there is the issue of the scar. Right now, I don't have one. But in a week's time I will have a big red vertical gash in my chest.
Until now, I've felt quite philosophical about this. For one thing, I'm grateful that there are people who are willing to do this work. When I was a young Law student, I was offered an opportunity to witness an autopsy. I took up this offer, because it was a unique life (or death) experience. It was quite confronting. So I've heard what it sounds like to cut through the sternum. I'm glad I don't have to do this for a living, or be involved in the process. All I have to do is lie there. I'm glad that there are courageous people who can fix me.
Intellectually, I've accepted that this scar will be very visible, and will form a part of me for the rest of my life.
But I'm not sure how I'll feel when I see it and when the realization kicks in.
I try not to be vain and superficial. But I recall that a few years ago I noticed a sun-spot on my chest and decided it was ruining the appearance of my decolletage. I went and had it removed, and after that I felt much more attractive in my evening gowns.
But this scar will remain.
What do you do to conceal a huge cut in your chest? I'm not very keen on high necklines. I've got a wardrobe full of low-cut dresses and tops. I'm not going to throw them out. I've got lots of scarves, but it seems a bit coy to always have one strategically draped. I'm thinking of getting some large, "bib-style" beaded necklaces to distract the eye from the wound, so it won't be quite so confronting for people to look at.
But ultimately, I'm not planning to cover it up. I like wearing low necklines, and I intend to keep wearing them.
My surgeon tells me that the scar will fade, especially if I cover it with tape this summer when I'm out in the sun - while it's healing the scar can absorb pigment in the sunlight. He is advising me not to "tan" my scar.
He tells me that he will keep it as small as possible, and that some film stars have had this operation and you can hardly see the evidence.
Which ones? Are they aged under 80?
So here's hoping. But it could present quite a challenge to my self-image.
But there is the issue of the scar. Right now, I don't have one. But in a week's time I will have a big red vertical gash in my chest.
Until now, I've felt quite philosophical about this. For one thing, I'm grateful that there are people who are willing to do this work. When I was a young Law student, I was offered an opportunity to witness an autopsy. I took up this offer, because it was a unique life (or death) experience. It was quite confronting. So I've heard what it sounds like to cut through the sternum. I'm glad I don't have to do this for a living, or be involved in the process. All I have to do is lie there. I'm glad that there are courageous people who can fix me.
Intellectually, I've accepted that this scar will be very visible, and will form a part of me for the rest of my life.
But I'm not sure how I'll feel when I see it and when the realization kicks in.
I try not to be vain and superficial. But I recall that a few years ago I noticed a sun-spot on my chest and decided it was ruining the appearance of my decolletage. I went and had it removed, and after that I felt much more attractive in my evening gowns.
But this scar will remain.
What do you do to conceal a huge cut in your chest? I'm not very keen on high necklines. I've got a wardrobe full of low-cut dresses and tops. I'm not going to throw them out. I've got lots of scarves, but it seems a bit coy to always have one strategically draped. I'm thinking of getting some large, "bib-style" beaded necklaces to distract the eye from the wound, so it won't be quite so confronting for people to look at.
But ultimately, I'm not planning to cover it up. I like wearing low necklines, and I intend to keep wearing them.
My surgeon tells me that the scar will fade, especially if I cover it with tape this summer when I'm out in the sun - while it's healing the scar can absorb pigment in the sunlight. He is advising me not to "tan" my scar.
He tells me that he will keep it as small as possible, and that some film stars have had this operation and you can hardly see the evidence.
Which ones? Are they aged under 80?
So here's hoping. But it could present quite a challenge to my self-image.
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