During the two and a half weeks while I am waiting to have my operation I begin to spread the news about my surgery.
Reactions range from "You poor thing!" through "You'll be fine" to "Could be worse".
My revelation also draws forth a slew of competing claims of disaster and doom. People tell me about past medical adventures, current ailments, and other bad things happening in their lives. I'm not sure if the purpose of this is to express sympathy or to win attention. I do my best to listen and express interest, because I do realize I'm not the only person ever to face a life-threatening condition. I do understand that a conversation needs to be balanced between the parties.
Everyone seems to be dealing with some sort of unwelcome event in their lives.
After the cathartic effect of the first few discussions, I start to find these conversations a bit draining, and try to change the subject as soon as reasonably possible.
I could keep quiet about it, but that doesn't feel right.
When someone asks "How are you?" you are not supposed to take the question literally. But I feel the need to let people know what is happening. I won't be around for a while, and I don't want anyone thinking that I have the unmentionable "something worse". I don't want people to gossip about what might possibly be wrong with me. Also, I don't want anyone feeling excluded and thinking that I was secretive and withheld information from them. It would be very insincere to say "Really well, thanks", when I'm not well at all. I want to be open and honest about it. But I am very much aware that there is a limit to this topic as an interesting subject of conversation.
Reactions range from "You poor thing!" through "You'll be fine" to "Could be worse".
My revelation also draws forth a slew of competing claims of disaster and doom. People tell me about past medical adventures, current ailments, and other bad things happening in their lives. I'm not sure if the purpose of this is to express sympathy or to win attention. I do my best to listen and express interest, because I do realize I'm not the only person ever to face a life-threatening condition. I do understand that a conversation needs to be balanced between the parties.
Everyone seems to be dealing with some sort of unwelcome event in their lives.
After the cathartic effect of the first few discussions, I start to find these conversations a bit draining, and try to change the subject as soon as reasonably possible.
I could keep quiet about it, but that doesn't feel right.
When someone asks "How are you?" you are not supposed to take the question literally. But I feel the need to let people know what is happening. I won't be around for a while, and I don't want anyone thinking that I have the unmentionable "something worse". I don't want people to gossip about what might possibly be wrong with me. Also, I don't want anyone feeling excluded and thinking that I was secretive and withheld information from them. It would be very insincere to say "Really well, thanks", when I'm not well at all. I want to be open and honest about it. But I am very much aware that there is a limit to this topic as an interesting subject of conversation.
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