Three minutes per month

I'm cheating and getting away with it.

Cabaret Live! is meant to be impromptu, but I know where the pianist lives, and I pin him down and rehearse my song with him in advance.  My reasoning is that many of the other singers are probably performing elsewhere during the month, whereas Cabaret Live is my only performance opportunity.

I prepare my song for the whole month.  Then everything is decided in the three minutes I am on stage.  Afterwards I berate myself for not singing as well as I did in my lounge room.  During the sleepless night that follows, I replay and critically evaluate my performance.  I compare myself unfavourably with other singers, although I know that these people are career singers with a lot more experience than me.

I'm not very confident with my singing.  Often, I'm unsure which part of my voice to use.  I'm terrified of making an ugly noise on stage, so I play it safe, holding my voice in; relying on the microphone to project it.  I can't seem to incorporate the refinements I'm developing, or even remember to breathe, though I remind myself to do it, as I step on stage.

And I have no idea what to do with my body.  My feet feel stuck to the spot, and Nikki has told me that I tend to flap my left arm involuntarily.  She advises me to hold myself still while I sing.  Later, when I have established control I can add gestures.

I'm learning a lot, though.  Chris introduces me to the "colle voce" technique, where the accompanist "follows" the singer.  For the Jobim song "Dindi", he advises me "You set the tempo for the first part, and sing it as elastically as you like."

The first time I try it on stage, it is a breathtaking experience.  I open my mouth and sing, and there he is, following along behind.  It's like being in the pilot's seat of a jumbo jet, but what I'm driving is a lush Chris Martin accompaniment.  We reach the second part of the song, where we are meant to come back together; I sing my entry note, and Chris is right there with me.

The event is growing, and we now get one song each, not two.  I'm accruing stage time, at the rate of three minutes per month.  It's not a lot, but better than not having three minutes a month.